[Friday, December 15] I’m still alive!

A lot of things happened these last two months, I don’t even know where to begin!

After I attended the conference, I had a lot of ideas, and most of all, a lot of inspiration. So I talked to my supervisors, who told me to go ahead! This is how, in two months, I finished the design of an experiment, I also designed the material, I contacted almost 40 participants to go to the lab and make the experiment, I preprocessed their brainwaves and cleaned them from artifacts, I read articles and books to be certain of my way to preprocess them, I computed the results, I verified the results with stastical analyses, I created a new R code to visualize the individual difference, I presented the results to my main supervisor with success, I wrote an abstract for this experiment, and I submitted it to the greates conference of my field.

At the same time, I wrote the summary of two books, I have been to two conferences to get more inspiration, I got the highest grade at the statistics seminar, and I helped the two other students of the neurolinguistics lab to design their experiments and collect the data.

Now that I’v written these two paragraphes, I understand why I’m a little bit tired by now! These two months have been so intense that I feel like I have been submurged by the work. In fact, I have a strange feeling with day, with the impression that it has been too much. Ok, let’s sum up and make it clear. I am extremely happy by what I have done, and kind of proud by the fact that it’s a kind of success. The theoretical part of my dissertation is still in progress, and my co-supervisor trusts me. The experimental part is, in fact, in a really good progress. I already have two experiments made, with great results, in line with my theoretical part. Isn’t it perfect?

But I kind of have a strange feeling these days of having given up to much from my private life. It’s like a guilty feeling of not having been present enough for my family and my friends. I find it hard sometimes to find the right balance between the amount of time and energy I can give to my PhD and my dissertation, and how much I have to give to my relatives. I think I should have written sooner here, I was unable to put any word on these feelings for days, but it came in such a natural way here! Who accepts to remind me to write blog posts when I forget?

Let’s be more positive to finish this post! My co-supervisor is a specialist on Formasan languages (like aboriginal languages from Taiwan), and this week-end was the New Year festival for the Kaxabu tribe (which is not officially recognized). And you know what? She invited me to come with her!! It’s been a great week-end there, meeting new people and having the chance to take part to the festival. It’s so good to have a look at the “outside world” when you’re always behind closed doors in a lab! And as always, you have some pictures of this trip!

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