[Week 93] Thoughts on the after-qualification exam

These three weeks have been intense in terms of work. I needed to get prepared for my first qualification exam, whose topic was on neurolinguistics. It was a lot of articles to review before the exam last Wednesday, I literally spent days and nights on it, not being able to see the sun outside! I still remember when I left the lab on the evening, and that I discovered that it had been raining on the afternoon, but I hadn’t remarked…

Such a hardwork has a lot of benefits, now I am totally clear about what’s happening in neurolinguistics, and how it can be incorporated with my theoretical field. The exam by itself was not that hard thanks to this training: I was able to answer to the two questions quickly, summarizing each experiment and telling how they contributed to a better understanding on the field. I even had some flashes, and added in what way there are limitations, and that more should be done. Overall, I was quite proud of myself after having written about 50 pages at the end, I know I did something quite complete!

But I don’t think that it’s very good for my mental health. Working that much, not seeing the outside (actual?) world, relying only on a very small number of specific people, not really relaxing when going back home… I’m really happy that everything is over. Even if there still are two more exams to go, I know now how I need to prepare them. In a way, they won’t be as stressful as this one!

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Such an extreme and intense period of work makes me want to go to another extreme now: I feel like a thirst for freedom, for discovery, for realizing myself in another way. I went back to running these days, it helps my body to readapting to a normal life. Now I dream of beaches and mountains, of seas of clouds over these pics, I dream of running in the forest with people I’m not familiar with…

I think I’m ready for a significant change, to leave my comfort zone for more positive experiences. What is strange for me is that I don’t see this feeling as an opposition with this last period of hard work, it’s more like I’ve proven to myself that I can do it, it’s now a matter of not giving up, and that realizing myself in the academic way makes me want to push me harder in a more personal way. I’m sure that by doing so, I could achieve more in the academic way, in a sort of win-win situation.

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This post was much more personal than previous posts I could have written, I hope my few readers will like it though! 🙂

 

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